And on that farm...

I never wanted to hear my daughter ask for 'MacDonald's' or worse, 'Maccas'. So I have always refused to tell her what the name of the place with the golden arches is called.

In a clear case of double-standards, I have less of a problem with her eating there.

Whenever we go on road trips, she begs us to stop at the 'cheeseburger shop'. On our most recent jaunt, she must have overheard my husband and I refer to the fast-food institution by name.

She now asks to eat to at 'Old MacDonald's'.

I really hope she doesn't ask what he has on his farm. Do I say, "Cows, chickens, fish and before 10.30am - pigs"?

Buddhism 101 (#2)

Just as she is about to fall asleep, there's one last question:

"Mummy, how did Buddha's mum die?"

Whatever happened to a simple "Good night"?

A movie by any other name...

She told me she'd really like to see 'High School Music Kids'.

So boring

This morning she says to me, "I'm boring, so boring." No, she doesn't lack self-esteem – she just meant to say 'bored'.

Yes, of course

Petal has chosen to replace the simple word 'yes' with 'of course'.

It can make her sound either certain, smug or plain rude.

Certain...
Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
Petal: Of course.

Smug...
Me: Did your friends like your new shoes?
Petal: Of course.

Rude...
Me: Would you like toast for breakfast?
Petal: Of course!

Will she ever just say 'yes' again?

Yes, of course she will.

Plastic-free zone

She asks me, "Do you have silicon in your body?"

She now lives in left-field. "No, some mummy's do, but I don't."

"Yes, you do." She convinced.

"No darling, I'm all natural. Who's been telling you about silicon?"

"My teacher says everyone has silicon in their body?"

"Has your teacher just visited LA?"

She shrugs. "She says your bones make your silicon."

"Do you mean your skeleton?"

"That's what I said!"

Buddhism 101 (#1)

As I'm hanging out the washing, my daughter comes to me with an important question. "Mummy, how did Buddha die?" I wasn't expecting this.

"Um, ah, I'm not sure, darling. I think he just got really old and died."

She looks at me suspiciously. "Mum, did you kill Buddha?"

I burst out laughing. She takes this as a sure sign of guilt.

Staring me down, "Mum, why did you kill Buddha?"

I'm speechless. She runs off in tears.

"I didn't kill Buddha. I DIDN'T KILL BUDDHA," I call out.

I'm left standing there with my husband's damp underpants and a plastic clothes peg in my hands, wondering, "What must the neighbours think?"